Oh, the 1980’s – when television shows were cranked out in factory style to sell toys to America’s kids’ parents. That’s how Disney’s movie empire works today. Racism wasn’t really taken into consideration back then and no one cared if you were specifically included or not. Researching this made me realize just how fortunate I was as a kid. I literally had most of the toys on the huge list available, thanks mom and dad. This is going to bring back memories, let’s get into part one.

GoBots

Today, everyone is familiar with the Transformers because of terrible Michael Bay movies. Before the heroic Autobots were doing battle against the evil Decepticons, there were the GoBots. If you think that sounds like a generic version of the aforementioned franchise, you’re not wrong.

The GoBots version of Optimus Prime is named Leader-1 and his nemesis is Cy-Kill instead of Megatron. They may have been first, but sheesh, those names suck. The GoBots toys were produced by Tonka under license from Bandai, and the cartoon was created by Hannah-Barbera.

I remember watching The Challenge of the GoBots on TV, but I didn’t know that there nearly 100 of these toys and 65 television episodes. I find it amusing that both Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime) and Frank Welker (Megatron, Fred from Scooby Doo) also did voice work for the GoBots. B.J. Ward (who was Velma at the time) also performed a character, as well as Star Trek alumni Rene Auberjonois (Odo, DS9) and Brock Peters (Admiral Cartwright and Joseph Sisko).

Compared to the Transformers, the GoBots were not nearly as well done.

Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors

I totally forgot about these things until I wrote this, but now that I think about it – several of these toys were in my room in the mid-80’s. The first surprising thing that I came across is that this franchise is from… France. What? 65 episodes were produced (all in 1985) that pitted the Lighting League against the Monster Minds.

The plot was extremely goofy and revolved around botany. Something about a super plant that got irradiated by a super nova and created plant/vehicle hybrids.

You won’t recognize any of the voice actors, but the U.S. franchise was developed by no other than J. Michael Straczynski. If that name doesn’t ring a bell, he is the guy behind Babylon 5. He also wrote for Marvel, doing stories for Spiderman, Thor, Fantastic Four, Superman, and Wonder Woman.

Pound Puppies

Awwwww! I love dogs and had several Pound Puppies myself. They were a Canadian creation and came out in 1984, with global sales topping $300 million in 35 countries.

Following the formula, the Pound Puppies television series premiered in 1986. A feline spin-off called the Pound Pur-r-ries came soon after. I don’t know what the deal is with the hyphens, but that’s how they did it.

Pound Puppies are still in production today, originally by Tonka. Hasbro, Playmates Toys, Galoob also got in on it, with Funrise in control currently. There was a revival TV show in 2010, but I had no idea until I looked it up because I am old.

Inhumanoids

The screams of D’Compose still haunt me to this day and I can’t believe this show was for kids – but it was the 80’s. The Inhumanoids were a Hasbro property developed by Sunbow and Marvel. Marvel?

There were only 13 episodes on TV in 1986, but I must have seen all of them. The action centers around Big Sur in California. The Earth Corps battled subterranean monsters that were Lovecraft-esque kind of things. Take my word for it, these creatures were freakin’ scary.

The bad guy that I remember was D’Compose – a big monster with skull kind of head and an exposed ribcage. He would capture you and… place you inside his ribs. Yeah. Holy nightmares Batman. That character was voiced by Chris Latta (Collins), who was also the voice of StarScream, Cobra Commander, and appeared on Star Trek several times.

Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors were all about botany, and the Inhumanoids were based on geology. Cool.

My Little Pony

Another Hasbro franchise, My Little Pony was release in 1982 after the original My Pretty Pony toy in 1981. The ponies are still popular to this day, inspiring a weird fetish for adult men that call themselves ‘bronies’. The new toy line looks like an anime representation of teenage girls that have to show you how ‘unique’ they are.

Because television sells toys, the first series came out in 1986 and as recently as 2021 on Discovery Family. It works, because my sister had a ton of these things when we were kids.

The first of several movies was also in 1986 when the ponies battled a purple gloopy blob monster called “The Smooze”. I recall renting this from the local video store, remember those? Megan and I would put grape frozen yogurt in the microwave to make our own “Smooze”… haha those were the days.